1. Brian Moore
Fine. He is an England rugby legend, one of the finest hookers of his generation. But, as Bob Willis has found, this does not necessarily mean you will be a popular television pundit. It is safe to say that listening to Brian Moore is more depressing than it would have been to be a resident of Stalingrad in October 1942. The man is a nightmare and what is more, the Daily Telegraph, in their infinite wisdom, have decided to reward him by presenting him with a quill, some parchment and a free license to write whatever he wants. Bizarre and tragic. There is only one thing worse than listening to B.Moore talk about rugby and that is him write about cricket.
2. Harry Redknapp
There is only one man responsible for the disastrous situation that Pompey find themselves in and that is the original Toad of Toad Hall. “Look at me, I’m our ‘Arry, the people’s manager.” Well, our ‘Arry, I hope your bungs keep you warm at night while the club that you made countless promises to, left, came back to again, then left once more so that they were so far up the creek that it wouldn’t matter if they had a crew of Vikings on board let alone a paddle, goes to the dogs. The only thing that can possibly even out what you have done to Portsmouth is the fact that you have to spend most days with Jermaine Defoe and David Bentley.
3. Anthony Hamilton
I feel overjoyed to be writing this on the day that Tony left Lewis’ inner circle. For anyone who watched Lewis win the World Championship in 2008, they will realise why I have got Hamilton Snr on this list. Fairs, the man worked two jobs to help pay for Lewis’ early go-karting career but lets face it, McLaren have paid for everything since he was 13. Do you really think that McLaren would let someone’s dad have a huge amount of control over their star asset’s career, especially as Lewis has been their most marketable product for quite some time. The guy is the ultimate Dan Scott from One Tree Hill dad character. The only difference is that Dan Scott is a legend. Tony Hamilton is a bore.
4. Javier Mascherano
He is the epitome of the modern day whining footballer. Someone who just hacks your ankles and shins then pretends like he wasn’t even on the same planet when confronted by the ref. His place on this list is probably not deserved on just that but I thought that he should represent all those others who follow a similar path. Sadly, he is also a very good player but that makes his conduct even worse. Just get on with the game you little Argy swine and then you might get more done, rather than force your really talented midfield partner Lucas Leiva to have to shove in his oversized oar. Watch a rugby match and then look in the mirror.
5. Roger Federer
I have only witnessed such unabashed recurring arrogance on a couple of occasions, one of which was from his pal in the Gillette adverts who felt that he could sleep with the majority of the Western hemisphere without getting caught. Again, I am forced to admit that he is one hell of a player but he is also one hell of a piece of work. Anyone who feels the need to wear a blazer with the number of Grand Slam titles he has won weaved into it is an arrogant one if you ask me. I don’t buy into the theory that Nike make him do it. He is a big enough star to be able to say to Nike that he doesn’t want to rub his Wimbledon win in Andy Roddick’s face, especially considering the circumstances of that win. Look to Rafa Nadal if you want to see humbleness.
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